Jokes

[RichardGraham]

Hi Folks,

I got this from http://www.canadianaconnection.com/index1.html

The world needs more laughter...

***

A True Canadian

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"

The neighbor says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head.

"No. They're all at the funeral."

***

Sincerely,

Richard Graham
Editor
Inline Hockey Central

[DannyG]

How many inline hockey players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

-none, we're all so "brilliant," we don't need light bulbs!

DannyG

[Brooklynite10]

Two great jokes. If anybody has any good jokes, post them. Unfortunately I have none because I can't remember a joke to save my life. At least now I can print them out.

[MDE3]

Joke 1)

A man is addressing his ball on the ladies tee, when a megaphone booms out from the starters shack: "would the man on the ladies tee, please remove his ball and return to the men's tee"

The player looks around and then backs off. He then goes through his pre swing routine again and proceeds to re-address the ball. Again, and in a more officious voice, the megaphone booms out the same instructions..."will the MAN on the LADIES tee..etc..."

All the players on the practice green and the veranda of the clubhouse who can clearly see the first tee, and are now gazing with great disdain at the guy on the ladies tee.

One more time the megaphone booms out the instruction.

Finally the player on the ladies tee cups his hands to his mouth and shouts towards the starter's shack" "will the *censored* with the megaphone PLEASE let me play my second shot!"

Edited by RichardGraham on 03/15/05 09:18 AM.

[JohnHockey1798]

You Actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a really, really good movie.

ditto for "Footloose"

You have heard of Garbage Pail Kids

You knew "the Artist" when he was humbly called Prince.

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art device

You own any cassettes

You were led to belive that in the year 2000 we'd be living on the moon

You remember and/or own any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut or any other stupid collection they came out with

Poltergeist freaked you out

You carried your luch to school in a Gremlins or an ET luchbox

You have ever wondered why Smurfette was teh ONLY female smurf

You know what a doozer is

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and you felt so stylish

You eveh had a Swatch Watch

You had a crush on one of the Coreys(Haim or Feldman), or you knew someone who did.

You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny

You had Wonderwomen or SUpermans underoos

You know what a "whammee" is

You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi or knew someone who did

You remember what a "slap bracelet" is

Your bangs had to be at least 3 inches high to be cool

You owned a pair of 'Ug Boots' or n=know someone who did

if you can identify with at least half of this they you, my friend are a "CHILD OF THE 80'S"

Toga!! Toga!!

[WMBG_GM]

You don't remember ^#@%$ of the 80's even though you are old enough too??

My friend, you are a child of the 70's!!



Ben Loyall

[Bliz]

Hey Bliz,

Sorry, this joke's just a bit too far past PG. We have younger kids reading the site. Thanks for understanding.

Sincerely,

Richard Graham
Editor
Inline Hockey Central

Edited by RichardGraham on 03/15/05 09:19 AM.

[Bliz]

Hey Bliz,

Sorry, this joke's just a bit too far past PG. We have younger kids reading the site. Thanks for understanding.

Sincerely,

Richard Graham
Editor
Inline Hockey Central

Edited by RichardGraham on 03/15/05 09:17 AM.

[CoachFoo]

If carpenter brains are worth 29 cents a pound, electrcian brains are worth 74 cents a pound and plumber brains are worth 15 cents a pound.............why are iron worker brains worth 2.14 a pound?

[Bliz]

Man, his wife, and his mother inlaw travel to visit the holy land. While there, his mother inlaw passes away.

The care taker there tells him, she can be placed to rest here in the holy land for $150 or shipped back to the USA for $5,000.00.

When asked why he would ship his mother inlaws body back to the USA for $5,000 rather then have her put to rest in the holy land for $150.00 the man replied: "2000 years ago a man here rose from the dead..........I just can't take that chance."